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Create the perfect reply when your bf or someone else asks this burning question
Written bySarah Schewitz, PsyD|Edited byBailey Cho
Last Updated: December 5, 2023Fact Checked
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- Example Responses |
- Replying When Other People Ask |
- Signs You Really Love Him
If your boyfriend asks why you love him, it can be tricky to come up with a response on the spot, especially when there are tons of reasons you appreciate him. While you can throw out a generic compliment, there are plenty of responses that are much more meaningful and genuine—and we’re providing the ultimate list to help you out! In this article, we’ll give you ideas for what to say when your boyfriend asks, “why do you love me?” We’ll also explain what to say if someone else asks why you love him, as well as common signs to see if you’re really in love.
This article is based on an interview with our licensed clinical psychologist and relationship coach, Sarah Schewitz, founder of Couples Learn. Check out the full interview here.
Things You Should Know
- If your boyfriend asks why you love him, trigger his hero instinct by saying you feel safe by his side.
- Validate his role in your relationship by thanking him for his listening skills or willingness to spend time with you.
- Lighten the mood by complimenting his physical appearance or sense of humor.
Section 1 of 3:
When Your Boyfriend Asks Why You Love Him
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1
“I feel an emotional connection with you.” Does it feel like you’ve known your boyfriend your entire life—even if you’ve just met? If so, you may have found your soulmate. This type of relationship is the one you hear about in romantic books and movies, and saying you feel a deep, otherworldly connection to someone is one of the most powerful ways to express love.
2
“I feel safe with you.” Men have an instinctive drive to protect their partners, so they love to feel needed and desired.[1] To show gratitude to your boyfriend and ensure he feels wanted, make him feel like a hero when he asks why you love him. Don’t be afraid to boost his ego and really let it be known that you feel secure in his arms!
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3
“You always spend quality time with me.” Spending quality time with your partner is one of the most meaningful ways to connect—and one of the 5 love languages for a good reason! If your boyfriend asks why you love him, tell him you appreciate his willingness to make time for you, despite his busy schedule. Prioritizing your relationship is a reflection of real love, and even if you’re not doing something exciting, just being around him makes you feel valued and adored.
4
“You make me want to be a better person.” You’ve seen your boyfriend go out of his way to help others. He always looks at the glass half full. He’s shown you what it means to be kind, empathetic, generous, and respectful. If any of these statements ring true, let your boyfriend know that his character makes you fall more in love with him each day. He inspires you to be an improved version of yourself, and you’re constantly learning how to be a better human through his example.
5
“Because you’re you.” If you find it hard to express your feelings (and you really want to tug at his heartstrings), use this simple statement to show love to your partner. From his appearance to his personality to his bad habits and hobbies, you’re in love with your boyfriend for who he is, and you wouldn’t want to change a thing about him.
6
“You always make me laugh.” Looking for the ultimate compliment to explain your affection? Highlight your boyfriend’s sense of humor to make him feel good inside! The fact that he doesn’t take himself too seriously is incredibly attractive, and it’s one of the reasons why you only have eyes for him—his personality outshines everyone in the room.[2]
7
“You make me feel seen and heard.” If your boyfriend actively listens to you and always tries to understand your perspective, express gratitude for his effort and empathy. You might explain that you love him because he validates your emotions and never tries to downplay your experience, even when he doesn’t necessarily agree with you.
8
“You’re my best friend.” Does your partner understand your passions and dreams? Does he know what makes you tick? What brings you joy? Does he just seem to get you? This level of closeness is the foundation for a long lasting relationship, and emphasizing your friendship is one of the best ways to tell a guy you love him. It lets him know that you value his companionship more than anything else, and you don’t just see him as a romantic or sexual partner.
9
“You complete me.” Why do you love him? You’re the Bonnie to his Clyde, his ride or die, his one-and-only. You’ve never met anyone else that makes you feel the way he does, and while that might scare you at times, you feel so lucky to have met your other half. It feels like your relationship is written in the stars because there’s no other way to explain this type of connection. Simply put, you were meant to be with him.
10
“I can talk to you about anything.” Do you feel like you can tell your boyfriend anything without fear of judgment? Even if you have an unpopular or controversial opinion? Tell your partner that his acceptance is one of the reasons why you love him so much. Around him, you feel comfortable enough to be your authentic self, and you don’t have to pretend to be someone else.[3]
11
“You always believe in me.” If your partner makes you feel like you can accomplish anything, stress how much you appreciate his support. Maybe he’s the only person you know who’s promoted your side hustle. Or, he’s encouraged you to pursue your childhood dream. Whatever it may be, let him know that you love him deeply because he roots for you and gives you a boost of confidence when you need it.
12
“You’re the most thoughtful person I know.” Does your boyfriend remember all the little things about you? Does he surprise you with romantic gestures? Can he read your emotions easily? These are some signs that your partner is incredibly thoughtful, and it’s the perfect explanation to describe why you love him. Letting your boyfriend know his actions make you feel loved and cared for will trigger his hero instinct, making him feel important in the relationship.[4]
13
“You put me at ease.” Do you turn to your partner anytime you’re anxious or afraid? If so, let him know you love him because he calms you down—you know everything’s going to be okay, as long as he’s by your side.[5]
14
“You make me feel like the most beautiful person in the world.” If your partner showers you with compliments, physical affection, or any other romantic gestures, explain how much his behavior means to you. Maybe you love him because he wants everyone to know that you’re together, or maybe he only has eyes for you in a crowded room. Be specific about what he does to make you feel attractive and desired![6]
15
“You make me happier than I’ve ever been before.” Does your boyfriend make you smile and see the world in technicolor? If so, explain that you love him because he brings you joy! Describe how he’s made a positive impact in your life, and don’t be afraid to be vulnerable and romantic—maybe he makes everyday feel like a 3-day weekend or makes you feel like you’re living in a dream.
16
“You’re very patient with me.” If he’s always open to discussion in the middle of a fight, or anytime you’re being moody, express how much you appreciate his patience. Healthy communication is the foundation of a healthy relationship, and staying calm during heated moments is a clear sign of love and respect.
17
“You always know exactly what to say.” Does your boyfriend know how to cheer you up when you’re feeling stressed or down? Express how much his words mean to you, and let him know that it’s one of the many reasons why you love him. If you can think of specific instances where he’s been especially comforting, be sure to mention them![7]
18
“You constantly surprise me.” Are you looking for a sweet and unique response? Let your boyfriend know that you love him because he keeps you on your toes. The more you learn about him, the more you love him, and your relationship makes you feel excited for the future.
19
“You’re incredibly good looking.” If you and your boyfriend aren’t super sentimental, answer his question with a flirty response. Complimenting his appearance keeps the conversation casual, especially if you’re not ready to give him a heartfelt answer. He probably knows that his looks aren’t the only reason why you love him, but this reply can make him feel desired in the meantime.
20
“You make all my sex dreams come true.” If your boyfriend prioritizes (and satisfies) all of your needs in bed, let him know how incredible it makes you feel! Again, this isn’t the most serious or heartfelt response, but it’ll definitely boost his ego and make him feel validated.
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Section 2 of 3:
When Other People Ask Why You Love Him
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1
“What’s not to love? He’s…” It can be tricky to come up with an explanation on the spot, but listing several things you love about your boyfriend is a great place to start! Maybe he’s extremely ambitious, hard-working, and assertive, or maybe he’s chill, down-to-earth, and creative. Maybe you love him because he’s kind to your family, he’s obsessed with space, or he loves writing music in his spare time. No matter what your boyfriend’s like, highlight his personality and describe what makes him so special to you.[8]
2
“I can always count on him.” Is your partner the most dependable person in your life? Give him the unofficial boyfriend of the year award by letting everyone know just how loyal and devoted he is to you—he’s definitely someone who will pick you up from the airport in the middle of the night, even if he hasn’t gotten any sleep.[9]
3
“He’s a great listener.” If you explain how your partner actively listens to you in conversation, most people will understand why you love him so much. Compliment his listening skills in front of others by mentioning how your boyfriend gives you his undivided attention during discussion, asks engaging follow-up questions, and makes you feel like you’re saying something important every time you speak to him.[10]
4
“He makes me feel like I can accomplish anything.” Whether you’re learning a new skill or switching career paths, let everyone know that your boyfriend is your biggest cheerleader. You can always lean on him if you’re feeling insecure, and his support makes you feel like you can conquer the world!
5
“He always knows how to brighten my day.” If your boyfriend can boost your mood when you’re stressed or upset, that’s a solid reason why you’d be in love with him. Tell other people how he uplifts you during tough times and always makes you feel like things will get better.
6
“I can be myself around him.” If you feel like you can be your true self around your boyfriend, people will definitely see why you’re in love. Explain how he accepts and adores you for who you are, and you don’t feel the need to hide your imperfections—you never feel judged for saying something strange or having “weird” interests. In fact, he loves all of your quirks!
7
“I feel safe with him.” To explain why you love your boyfriend, try to recall a specific memory when he made you feel secure and protected. Maybe you were walking home in a shady area late at night but you felt at ease with him by your side. Or maybe you felt comfortable enough to reveal a huge secret you’ve kept hidden for years. Whether your experience may be, let people know that your boyfriend’s just the best guy.[11]
8
“He challenges me to be a better person.” If your boyfriend goes out of his way to be kind and caring to others (including strangers), it’s totally self-explanatory why you’d be in love with him. Describe how he treats everyone with kindness, would never intentionally hurt someone, and inspires you to do the same!
9
“He’s the funniest person I know.” Tell the entire world how goofy, playful, and hilarious your partner is, and throw in a few stories to back it up. Maybe he accidentally ripped his pants busting a move on the dancefloor, or maybe he’s the godfather of dad jokes. Whatever his sense of humor may be, express that you love him because he always knows how to make you laugh.
10
“He makes me feel seen and heard.” Validation is a universal experience that every person desires, and if you describe how your boyfriend acknowledges your emotions, people will probably stop asking you why you’re in love with him. Understanding your perspective is a sign of love, empathy, and respect, and it’s easy to fall in love with someone who gets you like no other.
11
“He’s very attractive.” While some people might consider this a superficial reason, studies show that looks are important when it comes to dating—for both men and women.[12] Tell everyone your boyfriend is your very own McDreamy by explaining what you love about his appearance. Maybe his hot body, dimples, or smile caught your eye (before you fell in love with his personality, of course).
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Section 3 of 3:
Signs You Really Love Him
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1
You feel safe around him. When you’re truly in love with someone, they’ll make you feel physically and emotionally safe when you’re with them. You won’t have to pretend to be someone else to be “good enough” for them, and they will make you feel seen, heard, and understood.[13]
- When someone loves you, they won’t threaten you, put you down, or control your relationships with other people. In fact, they’ll encourage you to share boldly and express yourself freely.
2
You miss him when he’s not around. Does it physically hurt when your boyfriend isn’t around? Studies show that the more you miss someone, the more committed you feel to the relationship. You might experience pain or homesickness anytime you’re apart, even if it’s only been a few days, because you’re in love and can’t imagine a life without him.[14]
- If you don’t think about the other person when they’re away, it might not be a sign of love.
3
You want him to be happy and successful. If you’re really in love with your boyfriend, you’ll want him to thrive and to feel amazing. You might find yourself going out of your way to put a smile on his face; maybe you whip him up a fun snack or clean his car without telling him. Either way, when the thought of his happiness makes you extremely happy too, that's a sign that you're in love![15]
- Putting someone's needs above your own isn't a healthy, sustainable foundation for a relationship (so even if you want to, you should fight the urge!). That said, if the idea sounds nice to you, that could be a sign that you've caught the love bug.[16]
4
You can be vulnerable around him. In a loving relationship, you can open up to your boyfriend about anything. You won’t be afraid to establish boundaries with him and be your authentic self because he’s your best friend—he knows about your flaws and insecurities, but still loves you for who you are.[17]
- When a man is in love with you, he’ll also start to be more vulnerable. He might share his dreams, fears, and beliefs to show that he trusts you.
5
You want to learn more about him. Another sign that you’re in love with your boyfriend is if you absorb everything he says. You might learn (and remember) random details about him, like his favorite childhood film or most embarrassing memory from middle school.[18]
- Even though you’ll learn more about your boyfriend as time passes, you’ll feel a deep desire to feel even closer to him.
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About This Article
Written by:
Sarah Schewitz, PsyD
Licensed Psychologist
This article was written by Sarah Schewitz, PsyD and by wikiHow staff writer, Bailey Cho. Sarah Schewitz, Psy.D. is a licensed clinical psychologist by the California Board of Psychology with over 10 years of experience. She received her Psy.D. from the Florida Institute of Technology in 2011. She is the founder of Couples Learn, an online psychology practice helping couples and individuals improve and change their patterns in love and relationships. This article has been viewed 40,739 times.
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Co-authors: 5
Updated: December 5, 2023
Views:40,739
Categories: Love and Romance
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